I’ve stayed away from this blog for quite some time, attempting to get my bearings…trying to get re-focused on the lessons I wanted to teach. Ha! The truth is I’m still learning about this love thing myself. And I guess I came to the point of the journey where I have imparted as much as I know, or have learned, about love. So what more is there for me to say? What is the point of this blog now? And as I review my measly NINE entries, I wonder…what in the hell have I learned?! Doesn’t seem like very much. But in the spirit of being gentle with myself, I realized that I’m still learning, I don’t know everything (imagine my surprise when I realized THIS!), and now it’s time for the real journey to begin.
Was I really audacious enough to believe that I’ve learned all that there is to learn about love? How to love? How to be more loving? What are true expressions of love? I have to admit…yeah. I had become arrogant in my newfound knowledge, discoveries, and realizations. I felt I could tell everyone else how to get it right, but lo and behold, my arrogance was quickly checked at love’s door as an unwelcomed guest to a very exclusive party. I was knocked on my ass not once…not twice…but THREE times. Whoa…. And now that the dust has settled and my head has finally stopped reeling, I can say…ok…Round Two. …or would this be Four? No matter. There are still lessons to be learned, knowledge to gain, and memories/experiences to create. So now, I have to truly embark on love’s journey. See…I approached learning about love like a scholar. I read all that my pudgy little fingers could grasp. I researched poets, authors, and scholars who were authorities on love. I studied Bible verses, teachings, and spiritual texts on love. In my head, there’s not much I don’t know about love. Yeah, even typing now I see my folly. How did I think I could relegate love to my mind? I KNEW better. Seriously…I did. But even with that knowledge, I didn’t do better. In fact, I lost two very good friends because I didn’t operate in my heart space. *sigh* I didn’t intentionally do anything to them, but apparently they were hurt by my lack of action and when I found this out (neither came to me personally) I acted as if I didn’t care, even though I was, am, extremely hurt. Turns out, I’m human after all.
This blog will, from now on, be about me and my journey to be more loving, to operate from heart, and be an authentic example of self-love. I am writing as a student of love…not a teacher. So as I share my stories and experiences on this journey, I hope anyone who decides to read this will learn something from me…anything, no matter how small. And share what you’re learning on your own love journey.