Just like our current, antiquated public education system, many of us are also waiting for some super human person to come sweep us off our feet. We’re waiting for the one who will make us forget all others and come into our lives and make everything alright. We’re waiting for someone to love us just right, make love to us like we’ve never been made love to before, finish our sentences (because of course they know exactly what we’re thinking) and want all the same things we want out of life. We’re waiting for that perfect someone who will come into our lives and just fit. You know…fit right into our family, our circle of friends, and with our colleagues. We’re waiting…and waiting…and waiting. And just like with our public education system, Superman will never come. There is no super human person to rescue us and save us from…ourselves.
I’m definitely not sitting high perched somewhere looking down in judgment. I am one of those people…waiting for superman. And although I know, theoretically, a part of me wants to hold out for this nonexistent person. And what happens as a result? In order to prove to myself just how nonsuperficial I am, I choose the antithesis of this superman. Someone who has the sign “Toxic Man” on his forehead and causes my spirit to do somersaults. All the warning signs are there, but in order to prove to myself that I can accept someone with faults and blemishes and a not-so-perfect background, I push forward. Even in spite of knowing that I’m worth more than this person deserves. But, regardless, I push and I push and I push until…BOOM! The inevitable time bomb explodes in my pretty little face and I’m sitting reeling, kicking myself in the ass, saying “You know you know bedda than that ish!”
So with no possibility of superman and choosing so WRONG on the other side. What’s the in-between? Well, for me, the happy medium will simply be choosing myself first. *sigh* And I honestly think this is what all of us waiting for that super person should do. Choose yourself first. Know who you are. Know your worth. And be realistic. We all want that perfect someone. But…when I ask couples who’ve been married for a long time what it was that attracted them to their mate, none of them have ever stated anything physical or material. That’s something to truly meditate on. We deserve the best, yes, but finding, dating and marrying this “perfect” person doesn’t automatically ensure happiness. Truth be told, we set ourselves up with these unrealistic expectations because we know that no one will EVER live up to them. And if we don’t bother to take a chance then there’s no way to ever get hurt, right? Ha! No, instead we waste precious time and energy with people who don’t deserve a nanosecond of our time. Folks who don’t value themselves or can’t grow us to our next level. And then when even the “safe” choice doesn’t pan out, we’re left wondering… well, why in the hell didn’t that work and why does it hurt? They were supposed to be “safe”.
Sooo…the lesson is make reasonable choices. Create realistic expectations. And focus on yourself first. Heal old wounds. Reconnect or deepen your connection with the creator and actually listen to your inner voice. It’s NEVER wrong, especially when it’s healed, healthy and whole. Here’s to getting whole. Smooches!