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Soulmates and Fairytales: What’s the difference?

Once upon a time, in a land far and away, there was a beautiful maiden living alone in a big, traditional all-brick home in Buckhead. She had all that a maiden could ever ask for- a great job, great family, great friends, and a closet full of shoes. But alas, there was something missing. Fruit didn’t taste as sweet as she thought it should. The sky was not as blue as others kept telling her it was.  Music didn’t move her the way it seemed to move others around her. *sigh* One day at a party, she took a long look around the room of her friends’  nicely decorated home. As she observed the many couple interacting with each other, playfully touching the arms or faces of their spouses, interlocked fingers and loving glances; she realized y she didn’t taste the subtle hint of chocolate in her red wine.  She was missing her soulmate.

I often wonder if I’m the only person that considers that Cinderella and Prince Charming probably got a divorce. Or that Snow White’s tail ended right back with those damn seven dwarfs. We have this illusion that happily ever after is easily achieved and with one person. We are under the impression that all of our wishes, hopes and dreams lie with one person. And when we meet that one person, it is going to be magical. And…it probably will be…at first.  However, some of us believe that magic lasts as long as the energizer bunny. It just keeps going and going…. So we walk around looking for someone who’s going to make our red wine taste a little sweeter or our sun shine a tad bit brighter.  We make our lists of our perfect people and to reconfirm our belief in soulmates, we meet people who match our lists perfectly. They embody every single trait or characteristic.  And lo and behold, we have hit the jackpot! We received every single thing we asked for. Of course, we then start to notice all the things we didn’t ask for as well. And what began as minor annoyances become glaring defects that immediately cause us to study this damn list and attempt to figure out what we’ve done wrong. What did we forget to write down or what should we take off?  A soulmate with faults?  There’s just no way.  Right?

So we question ourselves, our choices and our expectations. We question our actions and our conversations. We question if we heard everything right and then we question our questioning. *sigh* Where do the questions stop and the listening begin?

Urban Dictionary’s definition of a soulmate:

A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet — a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful.

Well damn…I want that too! Now here’s one that is a little less romanticized and more realistic via Tomorrow’s Edge:

It was originally believed that soulmates are created when the creator takes a soul and splits it into two, as it is caste into human form.  Each half is supposed to learn the life lessons at their own pace.  When the two halves sometimes cross paths during various lifetimes, they have a cosmic powerful bond because they really are of the same soul.  They complete each other.  They are often very much alike, and the intensity of the connection is too much for a mere human with emotions and issues to handle, so they painfully end up parting ways.  When they both finish their lessons, they are both reunited in heaven and come together as a beautiful representation of love and unity.  This is also known as your twin flame.  Only one person is the other half of your soul.

I recently said that I don’t believe in the concept of a soulmate for myself. Well, that’s not true. I believe in soulmates, just not the romanticized version of them. I understand and accept that because I am so very intense, if I meet my “other” half in the cosmic sense, there is a strong possibility he and I will not be able to share the same space.  Can you imagine such an intense union? Especially if he is a young soul. In order for my soulmate and I to co-exist in a romantic relationship he and I will both have to be highly evolved souls. Rarely, do soulmates actually end up together, romantically.  And sometimes they’re not even friends! But that knowing doesn’t make me sad, if anything it’s liberating! There are so many possibilities for love and loving in this world. I’m not focused on a “soulmate”.  In fact, I’m simply focused on loving.  As I grow to understand and accept more about myself, the body I occupy and my purpose, I am also more open to experiencing all of my relationships in a more loving manner. I’m not waiting, nor am I looking, for a soulmate.  I’m going to love whomever shows up in my life to love me.  And imperfections and all, I will accept and love him fiercely for as long as I am able.  In the meantime, I will sip my tastefully sweet red wine and enjoy the rhythmic beat of life’s pulse. No Prince Charming or soulmate  or twin flame (that’s another blog!) needed for that. Smooches!

More reading on the true meaning of soulmates:

Soul mates are individuals who incarnate together for the purpose of growing in love. They make agreements with each other to help teach the life lessons each wants to learn. Then they incarnate at more or less the same time as a soul family. The members of a soul family are soul mates. Soul mates are kindred spirits, but they are not necessarily romantic partners. Your best friend is a soul mate, and one, sometimes both of your parents are soul mates. Anyone with whom you’ve been in a significant romantic relationship is a soul mate. 

When I say significant romantic relationship, I mean one that has impacted you on a deeply emotional level. Soul mates give you a chance to see yourself more clearly. Any significant relationship that teaches you something about yourself is a relationship with a soul mate. 

It doesn’t have to be a long-term relationship. It doesn’t even have to be a relationship that had a positive outcome. Some of our soul mates agree to act as the villain in our life to help us learn something important about ourselves. For example, a partner who cheated on you may not seem like a soul mate, but if that experience helps you grow in self-respect, then that person has given you a gift. You may not appreciate the wrapping, but once you’re on the other side of the experience, you will appreciate the gift. 


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