I am ready for love…all the joy and the pain. I’ve found that people talk a real good game. And I, never one to shut my ears to a good story, love listening to their stories about how good they love and how ready they are to be loved and loving. Their words mesmerize me and I find myself silently, internally recording each and every one. So when I see behaviors that don’t correlate with the words I recorded I like to call attention to this contradiction. Not to prove anyone wrong, but to clarify what the wants and desires ACTUALLY are…not just what they think sounds good. Getting ready and being ready for love takes work. It is, indeed, a never ending process. It’s one thing to think you’re ready while you’re single with no one in your space to challenge your behaviors, reactions and your thoughts. However, the dynamic changes significantly when you partner with another person. Any and all relationships pose a variety of challenges, but romantic partnerships are the most challenging of all. They can be amazingly frustrating, disappointing, joyous, peaceful, contentious, loving, and so many other colorful adjectives. All of which can be experienced over a period time as the relationship ebbs and flows or sometimes all at once. Our responses demonstrate whether or not we are truly ready for love.
This isn’t going to be a lengthy post, because there is no need for it to be. As a student of love, I continue to grow and learn so much about myself and relating in love. All that I learn I feel compelled to share with others so that we can get back to love and loving – the ultimate experience. My wish is to master love. And although, I’m not sure if that can be done, but I’m looking forward to trying my absolute best to accomplish this feat. In order to know if we’re truly ready for love, according to Leo Buscaglia, my love teacher, we must be willing to let go certain things:
The need to always be right.
The need to be first in everything.
The need to be constantly in control.
The need to be perfect. (Or expect perfection)
The need to be loved by everyone.
The need to possess. (We don’t own anyone!)
The need to be free of conflict and frustration.
The need to change others for our needs.
The need to manipulate.
The need to blame.
The need to dominate.
If after reading the list you can admit that you’re not ready to give those things up, ALL of them, then you’re not truly ready for love. All of the characteristics above are destructive to loving relationships. However, if you read the list and know that you are willing to let go of the destructive behaviors and you’re ready to do what’s necessary to bring more love into your life then begin by practicing the following:
Get rid of petty irritants.
Be spontaneous and bring delight to your partner.
Fight the urge to dominate and/or change.
Take responsibility for your own happiness. Remember it’s no one’s job to make you happy.
Be a friend.
Add rituals and traditions to the relationship. Use those from your family or make up new ones together.
Share your hopes and dreams.
One that I would like to personally add is Explore touch and intimacy regularly. As humans, we NEED touch. It is healing. And since relationships are living things, touch and intimacy provide the nurturing and care necessary to grow all relationships and promote them to thrive.
I’m truly, implicitly, beyond-a-shadow-of-a-doubt ready for love. Are you? Let’s get back to love Beautiful People. Smooches!