Bad habits are hard to break. I’m in a relationship that is possibly the most challenging relationship I’ve ever had in my life. When I reconstructed my “Perfect Man for Me” list, I changed a few things around and was highly pleased with my new list. I felt strongly that the next time I linked with someone romantically I would have a different, better experience. Well, I have definitely had a different experience, whether or not it’s better is relative. What I can say with complete and utter honesty is that it has been the most challenging relationship experience I’ve had thus far. Now, of course, how I choose to look at it is what will make all the difference and ultimately determine our success or…failure. I’m hesitant to use the term “failure” simply because if we view relationships as the learning opportunities that they truly are, there is no such thing as a failure. Great concept in a perfect world without ego right? Ha! Nonetheless, the fact is I’ve gotten exactly what I asked for. I wanted an alpha male. And I got one. Boy oh boy have I ever! In fact, he is ALL alpha male. Ouch! And that’s where many of our challenges lie.
I had become fed up with men who wouldn’t take the lead or waited for directions that I believed the answer was the antithesis of that. And so I fashioned my list for a man who possessed qualities more in alignment with what I desired. What I didn’t focus on was a balance. The concept of balance in a relationship is another blog topic altogether.
As I stated early, the success of our relationship ultimately boils down to choice. I can choose to view it as a negative issue or I can take this opportunity to learn more about myself and how I navigate in challenging situations. And even with though his male machismo proves difficult at times he does embody the other qualities I have on my list. He’s kind, generous, puts family first and possesses the where-with-all and commitment that makes me safe. He truly is a GOOD guy.
I know that you can’t go into a relationship expecting people to change or, heaven forbid, trying to make them change. And that is not my desire. I choose to focus on the good, make wonderful memories and let it ride. I have no idea what the future holds for us, but I plan to enjoy him and us for as long as I can. And…maybe… revise my list, just a little, again. You never know. Perhaps the spirit of the list will rest upon his shoulders one day. 🙂